You know how your mother always told you if you keep making that face, it’ll get stuck that way?
Or maybe I mean "Misses?"
Today’s New York Observer has a piece comparing and contrasting Evil Incarnate’s pronouncements during the course of TWAT ("The War Against Terra," and y!mctp!). among the highlights lowlights:
“It comes from the most sensitive sources and methods that we have as a government. It’s the family jewels.”—May 19, 2002, explaining why the Aug. 6, 2001, Daily Presidential Brief, titled “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.,” should not be made public.
“There wasn’t anything really new in it. It was one more sort of rehash, if you will, of the material that was out there.”
—May 19, 2002, same interview.
You know, sorta like Bush not being "truly [] not that concerned about" where Osama bin Forgotten might be in 2002.
Then there’s this:
“The press, with all due respect, [is] oftentimes lazy, oftentimes simply reports what somebody else in the press said without doing their homework.”—June 17, 2004, explaining why reporters didn’t write articles supporting claims of a relationship between Saddam and Al Qaeda..
Um, you almost had it there, Dick. Your description of the MSM is dead-on (okay, maybe a poor choice of words for the guy who shot his hunting buddy in the face and then went and had a drink, but whatever). Only problem is, you got the wrong dynamic: Our MSM are at the stenographic best when they’re transcribing your talking points.
Or maybe this:
“I don’t think there was a serious misjudgment here.”—Sept. 14, 2003, denying any underestimation of the number of troops required to secure Iraq.
Hence the need for the "surge," right, Dick?
Or this:
“Once we have victory in Baghdad, all the critics will look like fools.” —Summer 2002, to a senior British official.
Ed. note: Can’t you just hear the canned diabolical laughter at the end of that statement? "They’re fools! Fools, I tell you! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!" Shee-it.
How about:
“What The New York Times did today was outrageous.”—June 14, 2004, attacking the newspaper’s “irresponsible … possibly malicious” report that the 9/11 Commission found no connection between Iraq and Al Qaeda.
Yeah, Dick. Telling the truth is soooo malicious.
And on into the realm of pure fantasy:
“[Saddam] also had an established relationship with Al Qaeda, providing training to Al Qaeda members in the areas of poisons, gases, making conventional bombs.”—Oct. 10, 2003, citing information extracted from a captured Al Qaeda operative after torture.
Riiiiiiiight. Two people who couldn’t have detested each other more, and they’re working together to create bombs to use on righteous Americans. Red meat to the bedwetting crowd, but no resemblence to the truth:
“It’s clearly established in terms of training, provision of bomb-making experts, training of people with respect to chemical and biological warfare capabilities, that Al Qaeda sent personnel to Iraq for training and so forth.”—June 4, 2004, six months after a special C.I.A. assessment ordered by Cheney finds no truth to the charge, the tortured Al Qaeda operative recants his claims, and the C.I.A. withdraws 153 intelligence reports based on his information.
And:
“There was a relationship. It’s been testified to. The evidence is overwhelming. It goes back to the early 90’s …. There’s clearly been a relationship.”—June 17, 2004, two and a half years after the C.I.A. reports that there wasn’t.
Good ol’ Dick; he never lets a little thing like a fact get in the way of the story he wants.
And this combo is priceless:
“[Iraq is] the geographic base of the terrorists who have had us under assault now for many years, but most especially on 9/11.”—September 14, 2003.
“We never said that Iraq was responsible for 9/11. We never said that. You can’t find any place where I said it.”—June 17, 2004.
Um, Dick? That pretzel routine tends to be hard on a guy your age; not so great for the ticker, either.
In the understatement of the decade:
“Well, you can’t anticipate everything.”—Feb. 7, 2006, accounting for the Bush administration’s failure to plan for the insurgency.
But I think this is my favorite, especially in light of what Scooter Libby and the prosecutor purge have demonstrated about this administration’s thuggish tactics:
“We will not hesitate to discredit you.” —Fall 2002, to UNMOVIC head Hans Blix and International Atomic Energy Agency director Mohamed ElBaradei, before the start of U.N. arms inspections.
No shit. But let’s close with Dick’s Philosophy of Life:
“Go fuck yourself.”
—June 24, 2004, to Vermont Democrat Patrick Leahyon the floor of the U.S. Senate.
That’s our Dick.
[Ed. note: The NYO’s compilation takes up five Web pages. Your intrepid blogger here read them all. Now I need to go take a shower. And maybe bleach my eyeballs.]
