Comments on: Grief http://arationalanimal.blogsome.com/2007/08/26/grief/ Law, Native American Issues, Progressive Politics, and Whatever Happens to Piss Me Off Today Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:00:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=1.5.1-alpha by: Administrator http://arationalanimal.blogsome.com/2007/08/26/grief/#comment-180 Thu, 10 Jan 2008 08:06:02 +0000 http://arationalanimal.blogsome.com/2007/08/26/grief/#comment-180 Steve, an inexcusably belated "thank you." I hope Stella's well; after my first sister died 14 years ago, I went through something similar. You're going along, enjoying your day, and wham! It hits you like a ton of bricks. I think now my reaction tends to be more like yours: So much unresolved. Ironically, though, what's been hardest is a more deeply personal loss that occurred in the weeks after Dad's death - a loss of something I literally didn't know I had until it was gone. But time is having its effect, a bit. And thank you for always knowing exactly what to say. Steve, an inexcusably belated “thank you.”

I hope Stella’s well; after my first sister died 14 years ago, I went through something similar. You’re going along, enjoying your day, and wham! It hits you like a ton of bricks. I think now my reaction tends to be more like yours: So much unresolved. Ironically, though, what’s been hardest is a more deeply personal loss that occurred in the weeks after Dad’s death - a loss of something I literally didn’t know I had until it was gone.

But time is having its effect, a bit. And thank you for always knowing exactly what to say.

]]> by: Steve Bates http://arationalanimal.blogsome.com/2007/08/26/grief/#comment-172 Mon, 27 Aug 2007 15:35:29 +0100 http://arationalanimal.blogsome.com/2007/08/26/grief/#comment-172 Grief is a tough one. It doesn't go away in a day, a week, a year, ten years; it just transforms from unbearable to bearable. Stella is seized with grief (for her younger sister and the uncle who passed on at the same time as your father) at the most unexpected times, in the middle of otherwise cheerful events, etc. For me, with loved ones and not-so-loved ones, after a while, the grief has less to do with the love than with the sense that things were left unresolved. All I can say to you, Lilith, is that grief can coexist with daily life and ongoing positive experiences. Hang in there; I'm thinking of you. Grief is a tough one. It doesn’t go away in a day, a week, a year, ten years; it just transforms from unbearable to bearable. Stella is seized with grief (for her younger sister and the uncle who passed on at the same time as your father) at the most unexpected times, in the middle of otherwise cheerful events, etc. For me, with loved ones and not-so-loved ones, after a while, the grief has less to do with the love than with the sense that things were left unresolved. All I can say to you, Lilith, is that grief can coexist with daily life and ongoing positive experiences. Hang in there; I’m thinking of you.

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